Are You Lying About Your Spending?

FACT: 80% of spouses hide their finances from their partners and 20% have a secret credit card they use to fuel their spending, according to CESI Debt Solutions, a non-profit debt management company.

Question is: Are you lying to others about your spending? If so, know that lying to a life partner can ruin the relationship and cause a financial crisis. 

In this post, you’ll find out about financial lies and what to do if you’re in the gray zone.

What Spending Habits Do People Cover Up?

When individuals lie to their spouses, it is known as financial infidelity or cheating. Here are some things you might be lying about to your partner:

  • Gifts: Not telling your spouse about gifts is probably the most common of all lies. Buying gifts isn’t bad, but it can cause problems if your spouse has no idea money is being spent.
  • Lending Money to Friends and Family: Letting friends borrow money may seem generous, but it can wreak havoc in a marriage when your spouse hasn’t agreed to do it.
  • Personal Items and Services: Are you getting a monthly pedicure or buying items that aren’t part of your family budget? It could come back to bite you if your spouse doesn’t know about it. 
  • Hidden Bank Accounts: Saving money for a rainy day or buying a special item for yourself is fantastic – if your significant other is part of the effort.
  • Secret Credit Cards: If you’re buying items for yourself on a secret credit card, it can bring trouble to your marriage.

Ask Yourself Why It’s So Hard to Talk About Money

The topic of money is taboo in many societies so it’s understandable if you feel uncomfortable talking about it with friends and relatives. 

But avoiding the topic of money with a spouse can lead to trouble down the road. Spouses can feel hurt when you don’t fully disclose your spending habits and you can become overridden with uneasy feelings of guilt.

Start the healing process by asking yourself why you’re lying about your spending. 

Are you feeling insecure about the relationship or are you embarrassed about out-of-control spending?

How to Come Clean About Your Spending

Coming clean about your spending might just be the thing you need to get your finances on track. Here are some steps to help you overcome your lying habit:

  • Step #1. Get Clear on Your Finances: Examine your receipts and credit card bills to determine where and how you’ve spent your money. Write down the unplanned expenditures you’ve made over the past 6-12 months. 
  • Step #2. Sit Down and Talk About It: Be open, honest and clear about your spending habits. Most of all … listen. Allow your spouse to vent about family finances. 
  • Step #3. Make a Budget and Stick to It: Nothing is wrong with spending money if it’s already in the books. If you have your eye on a large purchase, aim to save a smaller monthly amount that will help you afford the bigger item in a few months.

Don’t let spending and financial lies control your marriage. If you’ve tried the above steps and you’re still having trouble, seek couple’s therapy. 


Lying to your partner about your spending can bring trouble to your relationship. To curb your lying and spending habits, start by getting clear on your finances and sitting down to discuss money. Then make a budget to plan your purchases. Want more tips on getting ahead with money? Go here: Master your money

Credit Professional, ready to help you take your financial future back.

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